Volunteer's Blog

Spirited Away

Volunteer's Blog

Bali, December 2018 (Pagona)

  I am in Bali for 2 months now and I am starting to feel the positive effects of adaptation. One thing that I am not able to get used to, is sleeping early at night. As I see it, the silence of the night feed my thoughts and my reflections and is a good chance to evaluate my decisions.

 

  Before I come here, before I apply for this project, before I even knew that Bali is in Indonesia, I was one of those people, who during the night toss and turn in bed, imagining things that can not be easily done and dreaming the life in different parts of the world. One of my hobbies was to visit the Skyscanner site, select the ”everywhere” option and fantasize that I actually buy these tickets. I was searching for workshops, EVS and projects around the world, even though I wasn’t ready for that, even though I didn’t have the money, even though I couldn’t do it because of the university, life, poor excuses, blah blah blah…

  And one day, these responsibilities were reduced. I didn’t have plans and reasons not to dare the things that I was dreaming at nights. This EVS appeared to me at the right moment. I didn’t have the choice to think about it. I had only 20 days to prepare everything and I just did it, without overanalyzing it, something strange for my standards.

  But still, I wasn’t confident. Even at the last moment, I thought that something will happen and I will not go. I remember searching on this site for the experiences of other volunteers, in order to have answers on some of the many questions that were rolling in my mind. Despite all the enthusiasm and the eagerness, I was still telling myself…

  “Don’t expect too much because you will be disappointed. It can not be so simple, no Pagona, you are not ready for this big trip. Do you really gonna leave your life and your daily life to travel? Is it really worth it? What about your life here? You have to start your career, you have responsibilities, you have to… and what kind of job will you do there? Who are you kidding, your English skills aren’t so good to work with English people. And the money? It will be enough to cover your needs or you will need your parent’s support again?… I am gonna miss so much, my family and my friends. If you will not be connected well with the people around you? Are you going to be all alone for 7 months? Oh..they say that in Asia is dangerous, and Bali is on the ring of fire.. if I die on an earthquake or in a tsunami? Or if I die from a horrible disease?…”

So this blog is dedicated to you. You who are looking here in order to take a decision. To do it or not. In my opinion, you will never be actually prepared but this can be an amazing part of such a journey. Ignore all these rational and absurd fears and trust your instinct. The fact that you are reading this means that you really want it.

 

Definitely, it will not be easy, especially at the beginning. If you are lost, you may be more. Perhaps, you will need time to get adapted, to get used to the new situation, to create relations, to feel yourself independent in the new environment. Perhaps, you will need to learn everything again, like a kid. It is normal to feel alone and homesick sometimes and to miss your beloved ones. On the other hand, possibly you will want to be alone sometimes and it will not be so easy, or you will feel pressure with no obvious reason.

  However, you will not be the only one who will face this situation, and for sure you will not be alone on this. Believe me, you will meet amazing people and you will make deep friendships. You will get stronger and more self-confident. On those pressure moments and challenges, you will explore yourself and your acts. And day by day, you will be proud of yourself for every insecurity you will delete and every fear that you overcome. You will have the opportunity to learn so many new things and how to manage your skills or new interests, to work on a team mentored by inspiring people. And when you will “charge your batteries” and realise where you are, you will have the chance to experience the real local life, to explore the beauty of the destination with all its combines: culture, weird facts, natural beauty, tradition, history… and you will love it. Because, yes, travelling can be the experience which built you more than your routine and the safety of your home. In this meaning, it worth to dedicate a part of your life’s journey to this.